This week I have just finish my stroy for our writing subject, and the Topic for my writing was action and Adventure. I picked because I like action movies like superheros movies.
HERE IS MY STORY HOPE YOU LIKE IT
One day and there was a guy homeless, he was running around and 5 minute later he ran and stole a woman's purse. He ran as fast as he could and looked inside the purse. When he took the money out of the purse he dropped the purse and looked straight and ran hard at a big shiny gold statue. He woke up dizzy and saw the women took the money from him and after that he slept. He woke up at 10 O’clock and said what happend, and he stood up and walked. People were so scared that all his body was gold, and he was so shy that people were looking at him. And then he said what’s wrong with you people he said it out loud. Then he walked to his best friend's house, 5 Minute later he got to his best friend's house. He knocked on the door and his best friend opened it, and his best friend slammed the door very hard on him. Then his Bestfriend said out loud why are you so shiny and gold, and then the homeless guy looked at his hands and saw that it was gold and shiny, and then he fell down on his head. When he woke up he was inside his best friend's house . He was tied up with big ropes, then his friend came with a gun and pointed it at his face and then he pulled the trigger but nothing happened. He was too strong and too powerful but the bullet came back to his best friend and died. And then he remembered that he ran straight to a gold shiny statue then people started calling the cops outside that they heard a gunshot from the homeless bestfriend house. He ran fast to the shiny statue before the cops found him. People said to the cop it was a gold shiny guy that was inside the house. People in the public starting calling the cops over here hurry up!!! Then the homeless guy saw the big shiny statue and ran straight at it and BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!! Very hard. When he worked up people started saying there is a gold shiny statue. When the cops flipped him over and he was not the gold shiny statue.
Helloo Tevita it's me Miguel I really enjoyed reading your story about a homeless guy that stole a woman's purse maybe next time you could reread your story to check if some sentence makes sense. By the way was it hard making this story? how many minutes or hours did it take you to make?. Anyways this is a really good piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteHelloo Tevita it's me Miguel I really enjoyed reading your story about a homeless guy that stole a woman's purse maybe next time you could reread your story to check if some sentence makes sense. By the way was it hard making this story? how many minutes or hours did it take you to make?. Anyways this is a really good piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteKia ora Tevita,
ReplyDeleteYou have written a very interesting piece of writing! You have used some great adjectives in your writing like shiny, gold, dizzy, slammed and powerful. These words make your writing very interesting for your reader. Perhaps next time you could try and use read write for google to listen back to your writing. What was your inspiration for writing this story?
Keep up the great work,
Miss Tozer.
Thank you Miss Tozer.
ReplyDelete